Plead
talk to monster and monster won't eat you.
Victims
upcoming! fun schedule equivalent :)
x Love Matters (Sunday) it's a terrible movie. =(
x The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (TBA)
x Cycling (TBA) --> I miss cycling =(
x Current Affairs Workshop (10,11,12 March)
x Thieves Market OH SO FUN! =D OWL BAG! <333
x 12 Rounds <-- hmm, boring movie? zzzzz *retches at mention of popcorn*
x Visit Objectif <-- LOMO Embassy; lomos are expensive. =(
x ARTFRIEND WAS FUN; haahs, if you consider trying not to fold a piece of turquoise tracing paper and bring it home in one piece fun.
x Knowing (Saturday)
x chalet! (13-16 April) <3333333
x X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE FOUND :D
Dramas
x Witch Yoo Hee
x ToGetHer (ai jiu zhai yi qi)
x Boys over Flowers
x Grey's Anatomy S5 WAITING S6!!
x House S5 SEASON 6 HURRY OUT!
x Gokugen 1, 2, 3
Movies
x Coraline
x Knowing
x Potter
x X-Men Origins: WOLVERINE
Sewing Machine
x fabrics purchase GOT THEM! =D
x attempts to create: jewellery tools case, purses, passport cover, lappy cozy
x BOOK COVER! COMPLETE!
Photography
x amateur photography --> kinda suck at this huh? (well, ongoing)
OHLIQ
x finish selling those ragged pieces of clothes! (can I give up already? :S)
Jasmine/A Tinge of Aquamarine
x jewellery tuning
x photography
x conceptualise
x photoshop
Cooking
x attempt to arrange/attend cooking lessons once a week with my mother CLOSE to giving up on this. :P
Fleas
x visit the theives' market at sugei road (since I FINALLY found out how to get there :) (wed) <3333333333
Fitness
x once-twice weekly jogging :) hey, relieves stress and increases metabolism! very very good. =) (or others like tennis and cycling)--> these no time. =(
x GOAL: to lose weight to below **kg :D
x dance class
x GOLF! lol.
x kayaking!
CCA stuff
x NYAA Chapter
x SPIN@TRM - NATAS
WISH LIST
x Disderi 3 Lens Camera =) --> Spreeing it! :D
x headphones? Those vintage kind! Plus won't mess my hair! (note* my head is pretty big, pls make necessary allowances. :P) --> anyone want to bring me to Jaben/Stereo?
x Jewellery Case/Box for bringing to Taipei. =)
x Maybe you can get me stuffs for my OIAP. hahas, just please, don't give me a ricecooker. -_-
x New Glasses
x Contact Lens
x Nude Heels and Gladiator Sandals!--> waiting waiting waiting!!
x Casual Blazer!--> bought! but the seller superrr slow. :(
x Robot Necklace & whale earrings!--> think I may forgo these two, whale earrings not so nice, may switch to birdie instead! Robot mahs, idk...
x Polar Bear Wire Wrap!
x Two new bags I kan shang online. Should be getting it. Except dno when she ordering also... O_O
x External Harddisk :x
leave now and monster won't eat you.
| |
well, I've gotten my answer. Like I mentioned, yes I "loved" more so yes I need you more than you. No matter what, I loved you by my definitions, but maybe not by YOUR definitions unfortunately. Yes I have mentioned a thousand and one times that I cannot live up to the standards of running out to meet you in times of your emotional needs or being there for you without being restricted by my curfew, that is beyond my control. So what else would you have wanted me to do? You've never told me. Disappointment? I never knew for I was never told at the point of disappointment. Maybe that was my bubble too since you said you tried. The way you say it, my life is just a big fat bubble which is delusional and I'm really just living in fantasy. Maybe I am, and everyone imagines living delusional is bad, but I highly beg to differ. Of course if you live in delusions as in so airy fairy then yes, THAT is simply being NAIVE and being the frog in the well. But, no, I'm not THAT sort of delusional. I just feel that life should not be focused on the bad all the time. Don't you see that you admit truths and hard facts of life, but you DON'T live in them, if you do, then you'd be a damn depressed person and then what's the point of life? You only live once. Perhaps I'm only now GROWING, so to speak, and perhaps it's because I've always had a better life, I've never expected you to live MY life, perhaps however life has more or less impacted on you such that you are forced to grow up. But have you really? The way I see it, I don't see that I'm any less mature in terms of life. More like weather beaten would be you...But like you said, we're probably growing at different stages of our lives, it's sad but natural for friends to grow apart if we grow in different directions...perhaps, like you said, we always have been, but kept together by some weird bond? But then again, not everyone grows together, so what happens when that happens? No, I'm still "simple", you know that I won't dig out my life because for what? If only to get as weather beaten or as idk, truthful about life? Perhaps you think that's cowardly behaviour, choosing to further live in my bubble, I don't see what's wrong with it. It's not that idk what lives OUTSIDE the bubble, but I will come to them when I come to them. If it's a rite of passage, I will go through it, when it is time. So, these are a few points I have decided to bring up. Well, I'm sorry for hurting you, never knew that I did, that one I truly apologise, such to the point we don't really care anymore huh? No, I wasn't disturbed, I was simply sick and tired of just ignoring everything you've been doing since idk, sec 1 or 2 when I felt hurt once or twice. I don't believe friends do these things to each other, so I grit it out, I didn't think you meant it. I guess then maybe we weren't as close as I'd like to imagine. It was really all a facade. Well, thank you for confirming and telling me if only through your blog. Thank you and I would like to exit from your bff life now. Thank you and goodbye. There were good times and bad times, but at the end of the day, maybe one day I will pass you all the letters I actually wrote to you over the years of our friendship. I think those were my needy moments and just as how emotional support was important to you, leaving me spending how many (I think it can count up to a year) of my life waiting for you and tending to your moments and whims and all (not that I don't have any) but yeah, these things were important to me, and don't think you simply angered me, those were times I were disappointed with you too. So yeaps, in conclusion, may this be a beautiful memory, and I hope we can end on good terms, not bitterly. For I guess I have only seen it now and you have seen it long ago...so I guess then this is goodbye.
I won't say I won't miss you, for I will. but that cannot be reversed. Thank you then for being there. really.
----------------------- If you should so want to speak about bgc, you know what? really I'd like to see how you two would manage it, because you two have always been simply talking talking, being all, you know, it doesn't really concern me thing. At least that's the feeling given to me...it's just all passiveness. No offence, just thought I should tell you honestly what I felt...I'm not saying ALL fault is yours, I'm just saying it might have contributed? Well, anyway, I'm not good at analysing, so you go do your analysing I guess... I'm sure you'll find something to deflect everything I said. :) and, just a note: jean actually reminds me of ccm. oh wells.
well, I've gotten my answer. Like I mentioned, yes I "loved" more so yes I need you more than you. No matter what, I loved you by my definitions, but maybe not by YOUR definitions unfortunately. Yes I have mentioned a thousand and one times that I cannot live up to the standards of running out to meet you in times of your emotional needs or being there for you without being restricted by my curfew, that is beyond my control. So what else would you have wanted me to do? You've never told me. Disappointment? I never knew for I was never told at the point of disappointment. Maybe that was my bubble too since you said you tried. The way you say it, my life is just a big fat bubble which is delusional and I'm really just living in fantasy. Maybe I am, and everyone imagines living delusional is bad, but I highly beg to differ. Of course if you live in delusions as in so airy fairy then yes, THAT is simply being NAIVE and being the frog in the well. But, no, I'm not THAT sort of delusional. I just feel that life should not be focused on the bad all the time. Don't you see that you admit truths and hard facts of life, but you DON'T live in them, if you do, then you'd be a damn depressed person and then what's the point of life? You only live once. Perhaps I'm only now GROWING, so to speak, and perhaps it's because I've always had a better life, I've never expected you to live MY life, perhaps however life has more or less impacted on you such that you are forced to grow up. But have you really? The way I see it, I don't see that I'm any less mature in terms of life. More like weather beaten would be you...But like you said, we're probably growing at different stages of our lives, it's sad but natural for friends to grow apart if we grow in different directions...perhaps, like you said, we always have been, but kept together by some weird bond? But then again, not everyone grows together, so what happens when that happens? No, I'm still "simple", you know that I won't dig out my life because for what? If only to get as weather beaten or as idk, truthful about life? Perhaps you think that's cowardly behaviour, choosing to further live in my bubble, I don't see what's wrong with it. It's not that idk what lives OUTSIDE the bubble, but I will come to them when I come to them. If it's a rite of passage, I will go through it, when it is time. So, these are a few points I have decided to bring up. Well, I'm sorry for hurting you, never knew that I did, that one I truly apologise, such to the point we don't really care anymore huh? No, I wasn't disturbed, I was simply sick and tired of just ignoring everything you've been doing since idk, sec 1 or 2 when I felt hurt once or twice. I don't believe friends do these things to each other, so I grit it out, I didn't think you meant it. I guess then maybe we weren't as close as I'd like to imagine. It was really all a facade. Well, thank you for confirming and telling me if only through your blog. Thank you and I would like to exit from your bff life now. Thank you and goodbye. There were good times and bad times, but at the end of the day, maybe one day I will pass you all the letters I actually wrote to you over the years of our friendship. I think those were my needy moments and just as how emotional support was important to you, leaving me spending how many (I think it can count up to a year) of my life waiting for you and tending to your moments and whims and all (not that I don't have any) but yeah, these things were important to me, and don't think you simply angered me, those were times I were disappointed with you too. So yeaps, in conclusion, may this be a beautiful memory, and I hope we can end on good terms, not bitterly. For I guess I have only seen it now and you have seen it long ago...so I guess then this is goodbye.
I won't say I won't miss you, for I will. but that cannot be reversed. Thank you then for being there. really.
----------------------- If you should so want to speak about bgc, you know what? really I'd like to see how you two would manage it, because you two have always been simply talking talking, being all, you know, it doesn't really concern me thing. At least that's the feeling given to me...it's just all passiveness. No offence, just thought I should tell you honestly what I felt...I'm not saying ALL fault is yours, I'm just saying it might have contributed? Well, anyway, I'm not good at analysing, so you go do your analysing I guess... I'm sure you'll find something to deflect everything I said. :) and, just a note: jean actually reminds me of ccm. oh wells.
|
